Your child has a friend over, and after ten minutes you hear: "What shall we do?" Playdates are lovely, but they can also make parents sweat, especially if the two children do not know each other well. Here are ideas and small tips so the playdate stays calm for both children and adults.
Before the friend arrives
A little preparation goes a long way. Talk to your child about what the two can do, and which things are "special" and should be put away. Many parents find there are fewer arguments over toys when the favourites are tucked away before the guest arrives. Also agree on pick up time with the other parent, and ask whether there is anything the child must not eat.
Also ask whether you share the same rules about screens. If the playdate should be screen free, it is easiest to say so in advance: "At our house we play without screens when we have visitors."
10 ideas for the playdate
- Build a town together. Two children can build on the same town and invent the story along the way. Crateit Town is built so that sets fit together across sets, so several children can build on the same town.
- Colour the toys. Crateit's wooden toys arrive uncoloured. The children can colour them with markers, so each child leaves their mark.
- Build a fort from blankets and cushions.
- Make an obstacle course with cushions, chairs and a long piece of string.
- Role play. Fire station, shop, restaurant or vet. The children find the roles themselves.
- Draw a shared comic. Each child draws a box and passes the paper on.
- Make snacks together. Cut fruit, make sandwiches or decorate a cake. Keep it simple.
- Treasure hunt in the house or garden. You hide, the children search.
- Listen to an audio story in a quiet moment in the middle of play. Crateit's audio stories are free to download.
- Put on a show and ask the children to perform it for the adults.
When an argument starts
It happens on almost every playdate. Some tips:
- Give the children time to solve it themselves. Step in only if the tone turns harsh.
- Use neutral words: "I can see you both want the red car. What can you do?"
- Take a break. A glass of water or a trip outside can reset the mood.
- Split play into sets. When there are more pieces to build with, there is more room for both children.
How long should a playdate last?
You decide, and it depends on the children's age and mood. Many choose to start short, so the playdate ends while everyone still feels good. A short, good playdate often makes children want another.
If one wants something else
Your child wants to build, the friend wants to draw. Suggest swapping after half an hour, or find something that does both: build a town and draw signs for it, or colour the cars and drive them in the town. Toys that can be both built and coloured make room for several kinds of play in the same playdate. See screen free toys from Crateit.
Adapt the playdate to the children
Adapt the playdate to the children's age and mood, and stay nearby if the children are small. We have also written about how children learn to play on their own.
When the playdate is over
Give the children a warning, such as ten minutes before pick up, so they can finish the game. Let them tidy up together, and say thank you for the visit. If your child finds it hard to say goodbye, you can agree on a new playdate straight away. It gives something to look forward to. Ask afterwards what was the most fun, so you know what to repeat next time.
Frequently asked questions
How often should children have playdates?
There is no rule. It depends on your family and your child's needs. Some children thrive with a fixed weekly playdate, others with one now and then.
What should we do if the children do not know each other?
Choose an activity with a shared goal, such as building a town or making a track. Then they do not need to talk much at first.
Should I have snacks ready?
It is a good idea to have something simple ready, such as fruit. Ask in advance whether there is anything the friend must not eat.
What do I do if the friend wants a screen?
Calmly say that you usually play without screens at your house and suggest an activity. It is easier if you have agreed this with the other parent.
See Crateit Town, where several children can build on the same town.
